When I began work as a massage therapist in 1994, the majority of people I came into contact with still held onto remnants of the two main misconceptions that plagued the field for so long. One, that massage was mostly a front for prostitution, and two, that it was only for the rich and famous or something you treated yourself to on vacation. So much of what I did in the early days consisted of educating people on the legitimacy of the practice as well as the benefits of regular massage for both their physical pain and relief from stress (and stress related issues like migraine headaches, and TMJ).
Fast forward 25 years and thanks to beautiful destination spas, wonderfully appointed day spas, chains like Massage Envy, and massage being part of wellness programs in hospitals and clinics, almost everyone knows the value of massage therapy, at least to some extent. That doesn’t mean that everyone has experienced it, or that everyone has had a good experience with it.
I want to help you to be able to get the most out of your massage every time you have one. That being said, I want to give the benefit of the doubt to everything surrounding your session that you can’t control. Hopefully, the staff is kind and helpful. Day spas can be intimidating places and we’d want people who are willing to guide you well as you visit them for the first time. Hopefully the treatment room is quiet and warm. You are expected to be naked or nearly naked, and your body temperature is likely to drop as you become more and more relaxed. Sometimes the tables are heated, I don’t always prefer that myself, but it would be a nice option to have available. Lastly, I would hope for a therapist who loves what they do. Listen, we are all human, so once in a while it may be the case that someone is having a bad day or is really looking forward to lunch, and things may seem a little “off.” Worst case scenario; someone doesn’t love this work and is just going through the motions to get to the end of the hour- that would most certainly translate into your session. For the most part, however, your therapist would be focusing completely on you and your needs during the consultation and the session, would know and love what they are doing, and would be happy to be helping you.
Let’s say all of these factors are in place the way they should be and everything will be just about perfect. Ultimately, a lot of the benefit you receive from massage will depend upon you deliberately setting your intention for your session. Are you having a massage because you want relief of pain, or are you in need of stress relief? (Many people have both as a goal, but I will be breaking down each as a physical intention and a mental intention. You could certainly employ both during your massage.)
Your Physical Intention: “Checking In”
When we seek massage in order to relieve pain in one area or another, it is ideal to be simultaneously both a passive and an active participant. That seems like an oxymoron, but I promise it works. When we give ourselves over completely to the experience in a physical sense, but remain engaged mentally with the process, we can almost “will” our bodies to assist the therapist and to begin healing.
Your absolute comfort is the first step.
It is likely you begin your massage lying on the table in a face down position. (Most therapists like to begin this way because it is beautiful to close the session with face or head work. Another reason is that a large majority of clients complain about their back, so we need to assess how much time we need to spend there and budget accordingly.) Begin to take some deep breaths. Check in. How does your head feel in the face rest? Make sure that your forehead is well supported so it doesn’t feel like your face is squished or like it’s going to fall through (sliding forward a bit should help). If the face rest does not feel right, tell your therapist- most are adjustable. You should also check in with your lower back. Does it feel tense? Most of the time the therapist will place a bolster under your feet, if not, feel free to ask for one. This should immediately release some of that lower back tension.
Next, let your body become very heavy. Let the weight of it sink deep into the table. Pretend that if you were asked to move you would be unable. You should not have to move any of your body parts yourself. (The exception would be that in a more therapeutic session your therapist might include some active stretching, but that would all be communicated in your consultation.) Your therapist is fully capable of moving your arms, legs and head when they need to, so the only time you will have to move yourself is to turn over. The more weighted and grounded you are, the more you give yourself up to the experience, the more benefit you will get.
The therapist may find some points of tension (or “knots”) in your muscles. You might feel a “popping” or “crunching” sensation, and occasionally some tenderness. If he/she spends some time and attention and pressure to these areas (hopefully they do!) there are some visualization techniques that work well to help them help you. Let’s say they are focused on a knot in your upper trapezius (shoulder) muscle (an area that probably 90% of my clients need worked on). What I recommend is to picture it as a wet cube of sugar (bear with me). If you’d imagine squeezing this cube between your thumb and forefinger, at some point, some sugar would come loose. If you’d keep a firm and consistent pressure- eventually the cube all begins to break up. This will take time and patience, and may not fully release in one session, but actively participating in your massage this way really makes a difference.
When the therapist begins work on a larger area that may not have “knots” per se, but you are feeling a general tightness or tenderness, make sure you are staying nice and relaxed. Don’t be tempted to tense up. Continue to breathe. It may be helpful to acknowledge these areas by considering what they are capable of and how hard they work for you. “Thank you quadriceps for being strong during that 25 mile bike ride yesterday.” “I appreciate you, bicep, for helping me cart that baby car seat around all the time.”
An absolutely beautiful side effect of receiving massage this way is the added dose of positive body image. When we recognize and ponder the power and magic of our bodies as a whole, it can work to cancel out some of the negative feelings we may have about “this part” or “that.”
Mental Intention: “Checking Out”
Setting your mental intention is paramount to be able to gain the most from your massage session in regard to stress relief. This is where you decide to actively check out of your hectic life and busy brain to focus on you in this moment.
Before walking in to the treatment room take some nice, slow, deep breaths and consciously decide that everything on your plate, all the things on your to do list, every worry, every “oops I forgot” and “I have to remember”- all of that can wait. To be more specific, it can wait outside the room. Once you walk in, it becomes your sanctuary for you and it is your time. Walk through the threshold and feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. Pay attention to the smells (usually spas smell AMAZING!) Let the soothing music fill your ears. Take your time getting undressed or taking off your robe and slowly get under the covers onto the table. With each breath, let go more and more. Feel a simultaneous feeling of grounding and weight of your body and lightness and clarity of your mind. Focus on your breath. Let the music take you on a journey. What does it make you think of? A meadow full of flowers on a sun filled morning or maybe a craggy Scottish mountainside just as the fog is lifting?
“Checking out” like this is an amazing antidote for mental fatigue. When your mind is so overwhelmed, things begin to seem so daunting or even impossible. Coming out of your session after fully committing to this process- you will be amazed at how focused you feel and how clearly you are able to think.
My sincere hope is that you can take these tips and will now experience massage on a whole new level. Be well!
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